Decisions, Decisions.... Helping your college-bound senior find their home away from home

Spring has Sprung! For high school seniors, springtime comes with many fun rites of passage- prom, special class functions, graduation…. But it also comes with some more stressful events- AP exams, the onset of “adulting,” and for many, deciding on a college to attend. While committing to a college is an exciting time, it can also be filled with frustration, worry, and self-doubt. A student who has been accepted to several colleges should feel elated, but also may be anxious about making the right choice. Supporting your teen through this process can go a long way in easing the stress and helping them find the school that will become their place. So if or when you are in the position to help your teen decide on a college to attend, here are some helpful guidelines to keep in mind:

FREEDOM TO CHOOSE

For high school seniors who are admitted to multiple colleges, deciding which one to attend often requires additional research and deliberation. As the May 1 deposit deadlines approach, there are many ways that parents can help, starting with their role in the decision process: Remember to keep your student at the center; if you really want them to have a buy-in to their college, ultimately, it needs to be their choice.

APPLES TO ORANGES

Getting into the right college isn't about impressing the neighbors. Comparing your teen's college acceptances and options with their classmates or your friends’ children is not helpful. Every student is so different, so unique, and has individual passions and interests. The college admissions process is also highly unpredictable. So make a point to focus on the school(s) that have offered a spot for your teen versus holding onto disappointment about any that may have not.

UNDER PRESSURE

Choosing a college should be an exciting process, but can be stressful if students are feeling pressure from parents to select one particular school over others. Allow your student to choose based on their own set of values and preferences, not because it’s your alma mater or more “prestigious” in your mind. One of the best things you can do for your child is to show them that you believe in their ability to make a good decision. Remember, this will be their college experience, not yours.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY....

Stay open minded and receptive to all of the schools in your student’s “I’m In!” pile. Every offer should be celebrated, regardless of a parent’s personal opinions. Your speaking negatively about a school affects student mindset, and could send your first-year off full of doubt before they even get there. Also, do not be dismissive of alternative admission offers. Some schools may not have a spot for your student right off the bat, but can offer different first semester options, such as study abroad, or community college-to-direct entry in one year programs. These alternative entry options are growing in popularity and are worth researching.

In addition to providing the emotional support your student may need, here are some practical tips to keep in mind during this decision making process:

VISIT THE CAMPUS AGAIN (OR FOR THE FIRST TIME)

Many colleges hold events on campus in the spring for admitted students in the incoming class. These programs offer undecided teens another chance to experience a school and ask any remaining questions they have about academics, student life, and other topics. If there are no campus events planned, call the admissions office to see if they provide overnight opportunities, or the chance for prospective students to shadow a current student and attend classes for a day. If you are running out of time in the spring’s busy schedule, consider virtual tours, which may offer features such as 360-degree video and virtual reality. While a virtual tour isn't a complete substitute for stepping foot on campus, it can still provide a look at campus grounds and facilities.

COMPARE FINANCIAL AID OFFERS AND DISCUSS AFFORDABILITY

College is a sizable investment, but families often don't have to pay an institution's full sticker price. To inform families of the net cost, (the amount due after subtracting scholarships and grants) schools will send accepted students a financial aid award letter, detailing loans, grants, scholarships and work-study options. After comparing financial aid letters, discuss the money-related implications of attending each school with your teen. Be honest and detailed with them when talking about college costs, so you are all on the same page when understanding financial fit.

EVALUATE ACADEMIC OPPORTUNITIES

Your student has probably spent some time looking into the academic offerings of each college they applied to, but it doesn't hurt for parents to do some additional research before making a final college choice. Parents can help their teens navigate the different college websites and think through the breadth and depth of academic opportunities offered at each school. This includes the majors and minors offered, course selections, accessibility of faculty, undergraduate research opportunities, study abroad programs, etc...

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Some teens may want to attend a college that's close to home, while others want to go to school far away from the town in which they grew up. Whether near or far, talk with your student about the pros and cons of the location of each college on their list before making a decision. Keep in mind not just the hours it takes to drive/fly to an out-of-state school, but also the accessibility to public transportation. If your student will not have a car at school, making sure there are several options to come home and return during breaks is important. Is there an airport nearby? A train station? If not, what would be the alternatives?

The ultimate goal should be for your teen to find the school where they will be happy and successful. Work together to find the ones that fit them academically, socially, and financially, and then allow them to make the final decision. This may be the first of many important decisions these young adults will make throughout their lives; offering support while still giving them the freedom to choose may be one of the best gifts parents can give.